Monday, March 4, 2013

Tonight, Tonight, Won't Be Just Any Night

After an absolutely epic weekend I am back at home in my own little flat. If I am being completely honest I am experiencing a bit of culture shock. The last few days have been life changing.

To pick up where I left off, Thursday. Thursday we had our first rehearsal with the band. Oh my goodness do they sound good. In my opinion there are few things that are not improved by the addition of a brass section, and this was no exception. The Bernstein music is absolutely incredible, so to add full orchestrations really takes the piece to a new level. First orchestra rehearsals always give the cast a bit of an energy boost, and I think the guys were really impressed by the band. I think they began to really feel like they were putting on a show. We worked through the music in the morning, and then ran the show in the afternoon. And it was great. The excitement in the room was palpable. However so was the anxiety.

See the next day, Friday, began our run. And to make things especially nerve wracking for the guys we not only had two shows (well technically an open dress and then our opening in the evening), but the afternoon show was the performance for all of their friends. Friday afternoon was our prisoner performance. I really think it was trial by fire for them. Most of them have never performed anything in their life, and to even take part in rehearsals was an incredibly scary thing.  Now, even as a professional, I always find it much harder to perform in front of a group of my friends. There is an extra level of stress that you don't get when you don't know the audience. You always want to perform your best, and are worrying whether or not you'll live up to their high expectations for you. You are also afraid of making a complete fool of yourself. Now imagine those feelings for someone who has never done anything like this before. And set them an audience of people who have very little exposure to theatre, and really anything else. I am not sure how I would have handled myself in their position. I think a lot of them were absolutely terrified. Actually I know that they were. And this terror manifested in a lot of different ways. There were some rash comments and bruised feelings by the end of the day Thursday as we got closer to the end of our rehearsal process. However the show itself was really coming together and I think at that point we really did need an audience. At one point one of the boys turned to me and said that he thought we needed another week. I had to tell him, honestly, that every show I have every worked on felt like it needed another week right up until we opened.

Friday was an absolutely amazing amazing day. For one thing it was my birthday. I don't think I will ever forget the year I spent my birthday in prison. The girls in the cast baked me a cake to share with the guys at lunch, and they all sang to me. I dont think there are all that many people that can say that. I had a room full of prison inmates sing happy birthday to me. It really made my day, I was really touched. I got many well wishes throughout the day. Many of the guys asked me if I had any big plans to celebrate, to which I would get to respond that I was opening a show with them! Certainly one of the best birthday evenings I could have planned.

Right, back to the story. Well Friday afternoon's open dress rehearsal was certainly a unique experience. I dont think I have ever performed in front of an audience that responded like that. They were very vocal, but amazingly supportive. All of them were cheering their friend on, and they audibly responded to most of the story. But all of it was positive. And you could tangibly feel when they got sucked in to the more dramatic elements of West Side Story. The room would go quiet and you could sense the concentration. The guys were incredible! I think that most of them really got a boost performing in front of their friends. And frankly I think it really did help them that they were the first audience. After performing for the other inmates any other audience would be all right!

I am not going to lie here, I had a moment of sheer terror stepping out on to the stage for the dance at the gym. Other than the leads, the women have very little to do in the show. I am in two scenes, and spend the rest of the time doing scene changes. Most of my time and energy during the rehearsals has gone towards supporting the guys, getting to know them and help them through the process. So until that very second I had not even thought about getting nervous. However, I got out on stage and had a sudden realization of who we were performing for. And even after working with nearly 30 inmates for over a month that moment was a bit of a kick to the stomach. However as soon as the lights came up on us, and I saw the rest of the guys up there on stage with us, I realized how much we were in this together. It was kind of amazing, knowing that we were a team. It didn't break down in to them and us, but all of us together as a cast.

The shows have all gone really really well. There have been a few heart stopping seconds where someone will drop a line or something will go wrong, but all of them have been handled incredibly professionally. One moment in particular was heart breaking. This guys had been rather shy the whole process, just coming out of his shell during the last week or so. And his character is one that none of us could really feed him the line. So when he lost his place there was the most amazing moment of suspensions as all of us waited to see what would happen. You could see him realize he was lost, get flustered, and then take a deep breath and collect himself and jump right back in to the scene.  I know there are pro's who couldn't do what he did in that moment. I also know that it could have just as easily gone the opposite way. I think had someone tried to jump in to help him it would have just pulled him farther into his panic at losing his line. It was a truly amazing moment.

I am going to take a break now, and collect my thoughts before I talk about the end of the weekend. There is so much emotion involved in this production I want to find the right words to share about it. I am just reminded of what many people said to me about taking on a project like this. The most frequent comment got was that it would be a life changing experience. And oh my goodness were they right about that.

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