Navel Gazing time

We were asked to do some self analysis over our reading week, and I thought I would share my thoughts with you. Be warned that it is quite long, and is mostly focused on the things I want to improve. Also please remember that this is a safe place, no judging! It was good for me to really think through some of this stuff, to clarify for myself what I really need to work on. Ok enough preface, here goes.

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Looking back at this term I think that self discipline has been both one of my successes and one of my challenges. I have made a point of arriving at Central an hour early to each morning so that I can warm up and work on music rep while the practice rooms are empty. This also allows me to collect myself and get my head in the game before class. I have pushed myself to check out new CDs every week, and have photocopied more music than I can actually work on. I have not been as good about reading new plays, which is actually rather disappointing. Before this year I was working at a theatre that focused on contemporary plays, so I had ready access to tons of new material. I would always read what was being considered for the next season, as well as become intimately familiar with the shows we were actually producing. Most of the shows in consideration were very new, several of them were world premiers. Without that impetus I have found it harder to branch out on my own. I no longer have constant suggestions of exciting new plays to read, and revert to what I already know.

Where I feel like I have failed in self discipline is the ability to push past what is required. I put in a ton of effort finding music, working on my rep, practicing for my voice lessons. However once I have brought a piece in to class I immediately focus on the next project, rather than continuing with that one. I should try to expand and improve on the pieces I already have in my repertoire, but I get so caught up in working on new pieces that I neglect that side of things. I also find that I do this physically, although I am working on it. I know that I need to get back into peak physical shape, especially for my dancing. It has been quite some time since I have taken dance classes regularly. But so far (in my career in general) I have been able to get by without them. I still have all of the training, I learn choreography quickly, and my body remembers how to do all of the steps, but I have nowhere near the stamina and control that I used to have. I have just relied on the fact that I am already a good dancer, and have known my competition rather than trying to further myself. I know that where I am now I couldn't compete with the dancers in New York, and I would like to get to the point where I can. I have not found any dance classes here yet, but I have started going to the gym which is at least a step in the right direction. So, dance classes are another goal

One of the things that I have always found difficult is self perception. I mean this in a couple of ways. First of all I have a hard time gauging what I am actually putting forward in my work, what I think I am showing vs what the audience actually sees. I love the work that we have been doing in performance workshop, and I hope we continue to work like that, but I have a hard time bringing that to my outside practice. I don't really know if the level of my work has shifted throughout the course, or if I am still acting at the same level as when I arrived. And this is one of the things I most want to change. I feel like of the skills required for Musical Theatre acting is certainly my weakest quality. This self perception is part of the reason for that. I have a hard time gauging my actual work. I don't feel as lost with either my vocal or physical work, I find it much easier to track my progress and notice the differences in my practice. So I really want to work on my acting, both the quality of the work I am bringing in, and my self doubt brought on by my inability to critique myself.

This self doubt also ties in to choosing repertoire, although I think this is a universal dilemma. I have been bringing in pieces that I want to work on, that I think are good matches for me, but I am never sure about a roles suitability. I am interested to hear some outside input into the songs and roles that I should work on, because I often feel like peoples perception of me is different than my own. I have been trying to branch out my knowledge of shows and songs, but inevitably I come back to the ones I already know and love. This is one of the things I am currently working on, broadening my knowledge of existing music. On Monday I am actually bringing in a song that I had absolutely no knowledge of before this term, which is a first, and I am quite excited about it. I would like to do more of this!

As for music rep, I have not brought in a single song that I had worked on before this term, every single one of them was new. Most of them, however were from shows that I knew quite well, I only started branching out into shows that were new to me just recently, so I would like to improve that. I have tried to branch out the styles of songs that I have brought in. My goal was to bring in songs that were different, either in style or tone, or both, from the ones I had brought in earlier. I want to continue working on this. I think I could go even farther, pushing my range. I don't think I ever truly stepped completely out of my comfort zone with the music I was working on. I know that I should work on more high soprano rep, but at the beginning of the term one of the things that I wanted to work on was my belt range. I think that I did work on some of that. Again, I know I can go farther, but I am starting to feel like belting isn't out of my range. Mostly, what I want is to avoid getting pigeonholed.

I have noticed a lot of progress in my voice. I feel much stronger in my singing, and I know that my range is much steadier than it was. I believe I have a much more consistent sound through my entire range, rather than having patches that are stronger or weaker than others. I am much more supported physically, and more relaxed in my vocal chords (although I am still working on that one). I can never quite achieve the extreme results from my time with Maria outside of the lessons, but I continue to push myself. And even just knowing that I can get that range and sound out of my voice has helped me let go of my tension. I am feeling really great about the work we have been doing on my voice.

I know that I am more physically fit than I was at the beginning of the term, even without taking extra dance classes. And I think I am making progress in my mental fitness as well. One of my goals throughout this whole term has been to think quicker on my feet, and while I am nowhere near where I want to be, I think I am getting better. The expectations Gary has of us in classes has really helped with that. He doesn't let us get away with falling back on generalities, and is clear and straightforward about when we are doing just that. Do it 5 times differently is something that I need to start forcing myself to do outside of class! I get far to in my head, over thinking most things and bogging myself down. I want to get more comfortable with making snap decisions and faster choices.

Goals for the rest of this term (and beyond). Continue expanding both my knowledge of musicals and my repertoire. Step more outside of my comfort zone in the pieces that I am working on- vocal range and style, character choices, and previous knowledge of the material. Get back into reading more plays, especially contemporary playwrights. I want to be better about following up the work that I am doing. To return to pieces I have already brought in and take them further. I want to think faster on my feet. I want to find a dance studio. I also want to host more combination classes for everyone else. The ones I have done I have really enjoyed, and I get quite a lot out of them as well. I want to have a clearer idea of what my abilities actually are, especially when it comes to my acting skills. Be able to gauge what I am actually doing verses what I think I am doing.

Thanks for sticking with my through this long e-mail, I hope it is clear. I am looking forward to evaluations, although I do wish we could continue this term and the intensive technique work.

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Phew.

Right, enough of that. Thanks for sticking with me through that whole ramble. Now I am off to go see Phantom with a fellow North American (my Canadian classmate Esther). I'll write more about my reading week and the rest of my Copenhagen trip soon.

Wonderful wonderful Copenhagen: Land of 1000 bicycles

Part of my goal for this year is to become a trendy jetsetter. The first step in this process was moving to London. Check! Second step, start exploring the rest of Europe. Check again! Early, far too early Friday morning I hopped on a plane and flew to Denmark to visit my wonderful boyfriend. David is spending the next two years studying theatre at The Commedia School in Copenhagen Denmark.

He was there to meet me at the airport Friday morning with a big smile. We spent Friday at all of his usual haunts. David has obtained an extra bike for me, because apparently bicycling is THE way to get about town, and has been showing me the town. I have actually been really inspired to get myself a bicycle when I get back to London. You can cover so much more ground in so much less time. After settling in we spent the evening with David's good friend Imre, another student at The Commedia School, from Hungary. We ended up in this cozy bar (cozy is big in Denmark) with another friend of theirs. I must admit at some point in the evening it began to feel like we were in some sort of russian spy novel, or something. Or maybe in a scene from Les Mis. All of us sitting around a table in a dimly lit bar, exposed brick walls, everyone around us speaking different languages. It felt like we should have been plotting the demise of some awful dictator. It was very atmospheric!

We slept in Saturday, which was much needed, and then spent the rest of the day in a similarly leisurely fashion. We had planned to go to a couple of museums, but they closed much earlier in the day than expected, so that ended up not working out. Instead we spent our time outside in the gorgeous fall day! We bought crepes from a street vendor and went in search of street performers, window shopped and people watched. It was really wonderful. A much needed respite from my busy schedule, and some really nice quality time with David.

Right now I am sitting in Cafe Munk, the cozy cafe where David works. Tonight we are going to try and find a show to watch. The challenge will be finding something either in English, or clear enough that we'll be able to follow the plot even if its in Danish. Should be an adventure.

The Veil

Taking a break from writing my paper about how social media is affecting theatre ...to be distracted by social media. Damn the irony! Right now I am suffering from the fact that I have finally found a topic that interests me, a fair amount of information, but I only have a page to write it all in. The longer papers will come later. This is supposed to be a warm up for the paper that is supposed to be a warm up for our dissertation (too many layers). I am not sure how they expect us to fit an introduction, lit review, coherent argument with support and a conclusion all into one page double spaced. So I'm going to step away from that for a moment to talk about The Veil.

On Saturday Sarah and I managed to get discount tickets to see the new production going on at the National Theatre, Conor McPherson's new play The Veil. I was quite excited to see the show as I had gotten a sneak peek of one of their tech rehearsals during a back stage tour. After Sarah and I took our seats the curtain rose to reveal an absolutely breathtaking set. I mean gorgeous. What had once been a beautiful and wealthy estate had slowly fallen into ruin and disrepair. Please if you get a chance look through the production stills! You could see the garden through the windows at the back of the set, and there were even trees overhanging the tops of the walls. These would gently sway with the eerie wind that would sound behind the windows. Amazing! The sound, lighting and costume design were all equally lovely! Really the design was the star of the show.

Really I felt that the week part of the production was the script itself. The show really didn't quite know what it wanted to be. Did it want to be a thriller? A ghost story? A character drama? Or something else. What ended up happening was that it was a little of all of these, but none of them completely. Often an interesting idea would be introduced only to be left without being developed. Which, when done consistently for 2 and 1/2 hours, becomes extremely unsatisfying. At times the play seemed both too long and too short. We would have endless dialogue scenes in which quite a lot of character backstory was revealed, and no one really knew why. Or there would be a lot of exposition explaining something that should have been left to action, or had already been shown to the audience. On the other hand whenever the plot would move forward the script would move quickly past the event without commenting or even fully realizing the moment.

The cast as a whole was perfectly amenable. At times they would belabor their weighty emotions, but this was not helped by the script. On at least one occasion a character described something as 'their own personal hell'. However I really liked both the actress playing the Lady of the household, Fenella Woolgar, and the actor playing her groundskeeper, Peter McDonald. I would have like to have seen more of them throughout the show. There was one moment in particular which I think should have been expanded. It is hard to describe the moment, as I would have to explain the events of the preceding scene, and its really not worth it. Anyway, there was a split second as he is departing, he says her name and they make eye contact. I could feel the audience around me sit up and think 'oh, this scene is going to be good'. Right then another character walks in and ruins the whole thing. He departs, leaving the audience and the actress upset and frustrated (ok I am just assuming about the actresses feelings, but she sure looked that way)!

On the whole not the most amazing theatre going experience, but definitely worth the price of admission! I look forward to filling more of my time with new and interesting theatre experiences. Not sure what is next up, but hopefully it will be soon.

Sister Time

Sarah and I spent a thoroughly satisfying day yesterday traipsing around London.  We started off with a trip across the river to procure theatre tickets. After that we back tracked up to Baker Street, the home of that famous detective.

After that we continued along to Oxford Street. Now, Oxford street is apparently one of the biggest shopping areas in the world. I believe it. Frankly its a little bit intimidating! Too many stores, too many people. I had attempted some shopping last weekend as well, and gave up pretty quickly. Yesterday I had hoped for more success because I had a shopping partner. I was on a mission for jeans, because my only pair of jeans here is dieing, and a pair of brogues, or lace up oxford style shoes, because they are cute. We started off at Selfridges, a store that is huge and very very expensive. A friend of mine works there and we wanted to say hi. Well, supposedly he works there. When we finally found the department he works for (which took a little searching) we were told he was at some sort of meeting and would be back in about a half hour. So we wandered around looking at the designer shoes, and exploring the makeup counter for a while. When we came back half an hour later he was still no where to be found. Curious! So since we didnt actually want to buy an expensive suit we decided it was not worth sticking around and fled the scene. Not a moment too soon I believe, the store is a little frightening in its scale and designer-ness.

After that we stuck to stores more in our price range. We found Sarah a cute coin purse, I resisted buying some leather gloves. We tried on comfy sweaters, and winter coats. You would think from all of the merchandise that it was freezing cold outside. In reality it was gorgeous and sunny, and neither of us actually needed a coat. We spent most of our shopping time in a fruitless effort to find the giant Primark (I had seen some great shoes in their window while waiting for a bus one evening) but all in vain. Looking back at Google maps now it seems we went in the wrong direction in the first place, but I blame that on faulty directions at the outset. So after a full afternoon of shopping, even with a shopping buddy, I ended up buying neither of the things I was looking for.

Our walk along Oxford street took us to the vicinity of the British Museum (that was clever planning on my part if I do say so myself!), so after a coffee break to get our second wind we wandered inside. Needless to say we had a lovely time at the museum.

After the museum we had a delicious dinner at a nearby pub. Sarah confessed that since coming to the UK she had not experienced fish and chips, so both last night and the night before we found pubs where that could be remedied. Delicious! It was wonderful to sit around and catch up.

I have many thoughts about the theatre last night. But I think I will save them for a later post. Right now I am off to enjoy the rest of the day with my sister, and then hack away at the copious amounts of homework that I need to do!

Friday thoughts

My sister is coming up to visit this weekend! I am really looking forward to getting to spend some time with her. Trying to think of where I should take her while she is here. Right now I am thinking maybe the British Museum, try and see The Veil at the National, some shopping along Oxford Street. To increase the amount of time this weekend I am here at school trying to get some work done. Instead I seem to be sitting here surfing the internet. Well at least I can recap the week. We are being very strongly encouraged to keep a journal of our classes and experiences, so here goes.

Last update was Wednesday, so what happened yesterday. Right yesterday started with Performance Workshop. We have this twice a week, Mondays with Paul and Thursdays with Zach. The schedule has not gotten so wonky that instead of performing once a week, switching teachers each week, we don't perform at all one week and perform twice the next. Also Zach has been hosting extra sessions on Fridays. So in the past week I have sung 3 times. Friday I sang I'll Show Him, from Plain and Fancy. Monday I sang On the Steps of the Palace, from Into the Woods. And yesterday I sang In Short from Edges. I have been trying to make the most of these classes. Every song that I have brought in has been new to my repertoire, and I try to bring in a variety of range, style and character. However, this week both of the songs I have sung in Zach's class recently have been from the viewpoint of women who have recently been snubbed by men. In Short essentially is a song listing all of the horrible things that she wants to happen to her Ex. This led to the comment (from a fellow student) that I seem a little sadistic in my song choices... Hmmm I think I need to fix that. However Zach started talking about my comedic tendencies. That was actually some great feedback. He even referred back to Will He Like Me from She Loves Me, which is not a comedic song. Saying that I was able to bring lighthearted moments to what could turn into a soporific song. The comment really got me thinking about my 'type' yesterday. Actually I did a lot of thinking about my overall progress and goals for this year yesterday. More on that later.

In the afternoon we had physical theatre. We played this really interesting game. There were several objects strewn across the floor of the rehearsal space. One person was sent outside while the class decided three actions that they needed to perform using the objects. The student outside then returned and tried to figure out what they were supposed to do judging by the audience's (the rest of the class) reactions. Clapping when they did something right, and eventually giving them a standing ovation when they finished their tasks. This is much harder than you would think. And actually got quite a bit frustrating, mostly for the person performing, but also some for the audience. Really it was an exercise all about listening to your audience. Also about how audiences, and casting directors etc, WANT you to be good. We were all sitting there willing each person to find the correct object and figure it all out. It was also about thinking quickly. This was what I found the hardest. I had a difficult time thinking outside of the box, and bogged myself down in thinking about it rather than just trying things. When I finally got around to just trying random things I actually figured it out fairly quickly. I just psyched myself out so much before that that I made everything much more difficult for myself.

Also in that class our teacher asked us what we really wanted out of the course. That combined with the work that morning got me really thinking. After class I went out for coffee with my friend Tom and we rehashed a lot of class and talked this stuff out. We talked about trying to figure out what kind of performers we are. What roles we are suited for, which often differs from the roles we really want to be playing. How we have been approaching the classes, the things we stumble on. I have been realizing that I spend far too much time analyzing everything, being in my head. I need to work on the speed of my imagination. When we are in our acting classes Gary asks us to do things 5 times in a row, each time differently. This is rather difficult. I need to get better at it. Mostly that involves more practice. I need to continue to push myself in that direction.

I have been pushing myself in a lot of ways. I arrive at school at least an hour early each day to work on music and I usually stay an hour or two after classes end to get work done with classmates. I have been building my repertoire quite a bit, and in several different directions. I joined a gym this week and have made a good start there, I went both yesterday and this morning. I have been walking everywhere and trying to eat healthier. I have been pushing myself to make new friends and have a social life. All good things, all things I need to be doing. However I feel like I am not doing enough. I need to be more focused in the work I am doing. I feel like I get a lot done in class, but the work I do outside of class, without the teachers there to push me is not as productive as it could be. Each week gets better though. I think its just that working like that is a skill that has to be learned and mastered just like every other.

Right enough of that. I need to start doing some research. Back to work!

Not What I Expected

Well, I spent quite a bit of this weekend stressing about Tuesday, and Tuesday came and went without a fuss. Made it through my voice class just fine. Still not sure I nailed that South Korean accent but I gave it my best try, and was able to sound reasonably informed whilst talking about the differences in our speech patterns.

After spending all day Sunday traipsing to various book stores, scouring the library and the internet my scene partner and I decided on a scene from Vincent in Brixton. I had read the play previously and Vassoula took it home to read Monday evening. We ran through the scene several times on Monday and then during lunch on Tuesday, and were actually feeling ok about what we were bringing in to class. Our teacher has discouraged us from blocking the scenes out so that we can really play with them in class. So basically we just needed to be comfortable with lines, and clear on what was going on in the scene. Done! Well, when class time rolls around our course leader comes round and informs us that our acting teacher is stuck on a train in Brighton. So class was postponed. So after all that and we have another week to work on our scenes. Ah well.

Then Tuesday evening my amazing photographer roommate took some pictures for me. I had booked a session for the following Monday just in case these pictures didnt work out. But if there was even a chance that I wouldnt have to lay down 200 quid for new photos I was going to take it. So, not including set up time, we spent maybe an hour all told on pictures. And you know what, I think they actually turned out pretty great. I was really pleased. My roommates and I narrowed them down to 4 finalists and I took them in to class this morning. I was a little nervous about showing them to my course leader, because he dismissed my other photos out of hand. He had good reasoning behind why they wouldnt work, but he made up his mind very quickly. But he ok'd them (I decided to omit the fact that my roommate took them in our living room the evening before). They passed muster with friends, family and teachers alike. I was sold. However... and heres the catch. When I got home this evening my roommate informed me that he had made a mistake. He was working with his new camera, and he had the camera set on a lower resolution setting. So I am not sure the pictures are going to be of high enough quality. I am hoping he will find some way to fix this, or that it is not as bad as he made it out to seem, because I really liked these photos. I think he is willing to take more if need be, but it is still a bummer. Also I cancelled my session with the fancy professional photographer because everything looked good. Crossing my fingers that things will be ok. We have until November to get everything settled, so theres time.

Wednesdays are getting a bit better. In rehearsal things are actually starting to shape up. We are preparing a piece for veterans day, based around the words and voices of soldiers. We are each presenting some sort of monologue or story from past soldiers, and there will be a few actual soldiers who come and join the production as well. Up until now we have spent all of our time collecting material. Today was the first time we solidified who was doing which piece and put them in a semblance of a structure. We have quite a bit of work to do to make sure the show stays interesting the whole way through, but today was the first time it felt like a cohesive piece.

Wednesdays have become a class social night. We are halfway through the week, and Wednesdays are often tough for a variety of reasons. So it is really nice to have a bit of time just hanging out with my course mates. Tonight we actually banned talk about Theatre, otherwise we would have spent the whole evening talking about class. It was nice. I hope we keep it up.

MAMT go to the Gym

What a wonderful way to start the week. I think I have figured out what my problem over the weekend was. We spend all week busting our butts, physically, vocally, mentally and emotionally. Then we get to Saturday and Sunday. The school building is closed, everyone is off at their jobs, doing their homework, living their lives. And I often end up sitting around the house. I just need more structure. As tempting as sitting around and watching endless episodes of British television is I fell terrible after a day like that. So my resolution for next weekend is to not be a bum! Done. And to help me accomplish this I have joined a gym. 

This is what happens when Musical Theatre students discover an outdoor gym after a long day of classes. We did join the actual gym as well, but this was more fun! Overall though today was great. I got to sing in performance workshop first thing in the morning. In fitness this afternoon I got to share/show off my knowledge of recent Broadway productions. Especially those that started in Seattle. I am going to miss having that insight into what is going to head to New York soon.

Mostly though I was reminded what a great group of people are in this course with me. We are all in this together. And should we need it there is a great support system right there, our classmates know exactly what we are going through. Also they are just plain silly people, and silly people are often the best ones to have around!