Before I move on to more current events I would be remiss if I did not mention my recent theatre excursions. I wont lie, I absolutely love living in London. However, there are things I really miss about living in Seattle. One of things I miss the most is the regularity of my trips to the theatre, along with my theatre going partner, the fabulous Margaret. So when I heard that she was leading a theatre tour in London I literally jumped up and down with excitement!And due to yet another stroke of luck I was able to attach myself to the tour group and see a full schedule of incredible theatre.
During the course of the week we saw an amazing range of plays - from the classical to the contemporary, from the comedic to the dramatic. All of them inspiring and enjoyable in different ways.
We kicked off our theatre tour at Shakespeare's Globe, with an absolutely gorgeous production of The Tempest. Now, although I know the play quite well, I had never seen The Tempest performed live. I would feel confident in saying that this was perhaps a near perfect experience of this play. Not only were we at the Globe, which is a gorgeous space - and really it's hard to find a better venue to see a Shakespeare show, but the productions itself was just lovely. Everything was presented simply, there was no need to update or embellish anything or add ridiculous gimmicks, just a clear and classic beautiful presentation of the show. And there were some really lovely performances. I particularly enjoyed the lovers. And Roger Allam, who played Prospero was just breathtaking. His control over his voice, and the crowd is just stunning to experience. You could hear a pin drop during his final speech. All in all just a wonderful way to start the week.
From Shakespeare we moved along to the Grand Dames of British Theatre. First up was Helen Mirren in The Audience, a play about the weekly audiences the queen holds with her Prime Ministers. The show was really fascinating, but I found myself really wishing I knew more about the history of British politics. I occasionally got a bit lost in trying to figure out where we were in history. Even with this lack of foreknowledge I found the play riveting. Watching Helen Mirren transform herself throughout the evening, playing the queen at many different points in her long rule, was a master class in itself and really incredible to watch. Apparently the script is constantly changing to fit current events. We saw the show quite soon after the death of Margaret Thatcher, and this had already been incorporated into the script in some really interesting ways. I would have been interested to see the play beforehand because I think the new material added some very interesting depth to the second act.
The following night was Judi Dench and Ben Whishaw in Peter and Alice a brand new play about the real life people that the characters of Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland were based on. I think out of all of the theatre we saw that week this was my favorite. It was certainly the play that stuck with me the most, that I found myself thinking about and mulling over in the coming weeks. The play itself had gotten mixed reviews, most said the performances were wonderful but the text was not terribly strong. I am not sure I would agree with that. It might not work as well without the right people in it, but the play itself was incredibly powerful. It ran straight through, without and intermission, and took the audience on a huge roller coaster of emotions during that time. I found it really powerful. And oh my goodness were the two of them amazing!! Just gut wrenchingly wonderful and heartbreaking. I loved it.
A bit later in the week we mixed things up with a production of Pinter's The Hot House. Now, I will fully admit that Pinter is not one of my favorite playwrights, and I think that this is because I haven't seen many good productions of his work. Often they are terribly overwrought and slow, and just kind of painful to sit through. Not so with this production (well ok there were some issues, but I will get to them in a minute). The play itself was fast paced, and incredibly funny as well as being intensely dark and creepy. Simon Russell Beale and John Simm, along with the rest of the cast, were just phenomenal. However my fellow audience members and I found ourselves rather distracted during the first act.
Let me set the scene for you: For this production the theatre had placed about four rows of seating on the stage itself, behind the action. Most of us who were sitting in this extra section had given some thought to the fact that we would become part of the production. We all wore muted colors and arrived prepared to be on our best theatre behavior. Then at the last second we were joined by two others. Now, I am not sure where this couple came from, but they did not seem to be your typical Harold Pinter audience. In fact I am not sure they had ever been to the theatre before in their lives. They behaved more like they were at a football game than anything else. You could smell the booze coming off of them in waves. And not only did they chat with each other throughout the first act they tried to pull the actors and the rest of the audience into their own personal experience of the show. The woman announced loudly just how famous John Simm was every time he came on stage. The two of them made out for a large part of the act, kicking those in the seats around them in the process. And just generally they were the absolute worst theatre patrons I have ever ever experienced. You could see the growing frustration in the actors and the audience members around them. At one point the poor woman sat directly in front of the two of them tried to intercede, reminding them that they were not the only ones trying to enjoy the performance and asking them to lower their voices. She found herself then being shouted at by this woman and eventually had to give up. When the lights came up at intermission I went and spoke with one of the ushers, who knew exactly what had been going on and assured me something was being done. Apparently the director had also been in the audience, and was absolutely livid! So this couple, who bolted to the bar as soon as the lights came up, were asked politely to leave the theatre. The woman immediately began a tirade about how she had two children, and that the theatre staff couldnt treat her that way. It turns out that they could, and did. And really, what does having kids have anything to do with the way you behave at the theatre?? It was an absolutely astonishing display, I have never experienced anything like it. It really is unfortunate that they didnt just kick them out earlier, as I think most of us missed a lot of the first act. However, once they were gone the experience became infinitely more enjoyable. The relief in the room was palpable once the second act got under way.
The rest of our theatre going time was much less dramatic. Margaret and I closed off the week with a new play at the National, called The Table. The production was sleek and lovely with some really lovely performances and great music. The play itself was perhaps not an enduring work - it took quite a long time to tell you just whose story this was, and was a little unfocused. But, you can really tell just how much care and time goes into the productions at the National. It is really nice to see shows, especially new works, that feel that solid and secure - and this was the show put in their temporary space.
The final show of the week was our musical choice - Merrily We Roll Along, and what a great show to end on. A really great production as well. The show itself may have some snags structurally, - as Margaret said, it is rather difficult to recover from having your 11 o'clock number 20 minutes into the show; but it still really an enjoyable ride. And wow that number was a doozy, just fantastic! I do love a Sondheim show.
Since then much has happened and I have lots of stories, which I will get to in good time. Really I think I just need to start saving them all up for my autobiography. For now all I will say is that this summer is certainly going to make an interesting chapter!
Monday, June 24, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Catch the Rabbit!
Well, it has been a whirlwind couple of weeks. We are just reaching the end of our third week since we began rehearsals (the second full week) and we have already done 5 performances, with one more to go tomorrow. Of course, we still have to put up an entire other show in the mean time, but I am getting ahead of myself.
Let's see, three weeks ago I had just gotten the show offer. I spent the weekend in a state of suspense. The only concrete information I had was that we would be touring two shows 12th Night and The Tales of Peter Rabbit and Benjamin Bunny. The rest - which roles I would be playing, how many people would be in the cast, where we would be performing; all a mystery. This was both quite nerve wracking and just a little bit exhilarating. Just a little.
To say that we hit the ground running would be an understatement. We jumped right into blocking in the very first session, assigning roles as we came across them. We were taught music on the fly, by ear, and to make things more interesting I have had to learn to play the flute! Now, to be fair I did play the flute years ago. Many years ago. Like, 15 years ago. Its been an interesting experience. Well, to be honest it has been a pretty hectic experience. Its been a little overwhelming, for everyone I think.
With all of that, we put together the entirety of Peter Rabbit in about a week. This is a show that involves music from beginning to end, split second costume and character changes and lots and lots of running. Throughout the show I play a bunny, a mouse, a cat, a farmers wife, a flower and a bird. I speak in 3 different accents - none of them my own. I play three instruments, take part in two chases and a fight scene, build and break down a pretty major set (including a stage). All that and more. And that's only one of the shows.
We have spent this last week taking the show to schools in the morning and coming back to rehearse the Shakespeare in the afternoon. Remarkably this week has actually been a lot more relaxed than the last. I am sure we will go back to a state of panic next week when we have to solidify all of 12th Night in a week, but we'll leave that for then. For now I am going to enjoy an evening on the couch, then early to bed to learn my many many many lines for next week.
Let's see, three weeks ago I had just gotten the show offer. I spent the weekend in a state of suspense. The only concrete information I had was that we would be touring two shows 12th Night and The Tales of Peter Rabbit and Benjamin Bunny. The rest - which roles I would be playing, how many people would be in the cast, where we would be performing; all a mystery. This was both quite nerve wracking and just a little bit exhilarating. Just a little.
To say that we hit the ground running would be an understatement. We jumped right into blocking in the very first session, assigning roles as we came across them. We were taught music on the fly, by ear, and to make things more interesting I have had to learn to play the flute! Now, to be fair I did play the flute years ago. Many years ago. Like, 15 years ago. Its been an interesting experience. Well, to be honest it has been a pretty hectic experience. Its been a little overwhelming, for everyone I think.
With all of that, we put together the entirety of Peter Rabbit in about a week. This is a show that involves music from beginning to end, split second costume and character changes and lots and lots of running. Throughout the show I play a bunny, a mouse, a cat, a farmers wife, a flower and a bird. I speak in 3 different accents - none of them my own. I play three instruments, take part in two chases and a fight scene, build and break down a pretty major set (including a stage). All that and more. And that's only one of the shows.
We have spent this last week taking the show to schools in the morning and coming back to rehearse the Shakespeare in the afternoon. Remarkably this week has actually been a lot more relaxed than the last. I am sure we will go back to a state of panic next week when we have to solidify all of 12th Night in a week, but we'll leave that for then. For now I am going to enjoy an evening on the couch, then early to bed to learn my many many many lines for next week.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
This is my Keychange
It is kind of incredible how situations can change. Last week I was stuck at home, worried that I was reaching the end of my time here in London. Although things had been going well - I got my work visa, my first professional job, my first voice gig and a voice agent - auditions were few and far between. I took a long hard look at my finances and had to admit to myself that I couldn't support myself on my savings for too much longer. The big shows had pretty much all finished casting, and I didn't really have anything on the horizon.
Then I got some auditions! As we finally round the bend into the warmer seasons theatre companies have started casting open air and summer touring shows. I had an audition last week for a Shakespeare production based about 2 hours outside of London. And another audition for a touring show doing Shakespeare and Beatrix Potter - a unique combination if you ask me.
And well, to cut a long story short, I got the call this afternoon. I got the job!!! I will be touring 12th Night and the Tale of Peter Rabbit through the end of the summer. This means many things - mostly that my visa will get renewed and I will get to stay in the UK for another year!
Very very excited. Now off to go celebrate!
Then I got some auditions! As we finally round the bend into the warmer seasons theatre companies have started casting open air and summer touring shows. I had an audition last week for a Shakespeare production based about 2 hours outside of London. And another audition for a touring show doing Shakespeare and Beatrix Potter - a unique combination if you ask me.
And well, to cut a long story short, I got the call this afternoon. I got the job!!! I will be touring 12th Night and the Tale of Peter Rabbit through the end of the summer. This means many things - mostly that my visa will get renewed and I will get to stay in the UK for another year!
Very very excited. Now off to go celebrate!
Climbing the Walls
I don't handle free time very well. That's not to say that I don't enjoy a break every once in a while, or that I don't know how to manage my own time. No, what I mean is that I really don't like not having a project. In the past I have always filled my time with as much organized activity as humanly possible. In school this meant taking twice the number of classes required, after I graduated that meant working multiple jobs while performing in the evening. Needless to say I thrive under pressure and I like a full schedule.
Now, for perhaps the first time in my life I find myself unable to do this. On my visa I am only allowed to work in the arts. This means that I cannot get a civilian job to help either pay the bills or pass the time. This is a big problem for me. What it does mean is that I can really focus on theatre, which is part of the reason I moved to London in the first place. I found myself working a full time job that made me really unhappy, and I wasn't doing the work I wanted to. So now I am in a situation where I cannot take another job. It is a weird experience. I am kind of losing my mind a little bit!!!!!
Like any period of unemployment it has its ups and its downs. On the up side it does mean that I can focus completely on what I want to be doing. I get up and I often have the house to myself, so I can sing and be as loud as I need without disturbing anyone or feeling self conscious. I joined another audition listing site, one that I am in control of so I can submit myself for auditions. Up until now I have left that mostly in the hands of my agent. And as someone who is used to taking care of everything myself that has been rather difficult for me. I have a few auditions lined up for the next week, so hopefully something will come from one of those!
The downs are all the normal things you would expect. Anxiety about money, frustration at not having a job, fear that I will never get one. Nothing that is out of the ordinary. The trick is trying to avoid dwelling on all of these worries. I have learned that this is difficult to accomplish while cooped up at home with possibly the worlds worst cold. Not quite sick enough that I was bed ridden, but too sick to accomplish much. However I am now fully recovered and back up on the horse.
Even while I was sick I did manage to accomplish something, actually it was something really important. I finally got myself a voice over agent! This is something that I have been working on for about a year now. After one false start last year I have actually achieved one of my big goals for the year. Very very excited about this.
In all honesty, although it has been a very frustrating month, I am actually in a pretty good place professionally. In the year since I graduated I have managed to sign with both a theatrical and a voice agent.I have auditioned for a handful of shows, including a few West End productions. I have had one professional contract with a prestigious company. And I have managed to secure for myself (for the time being at least) a UK visa. Not half bad. I still have a lot of work ahead of me, and I am sure quite a lot of frustration and anxiety to go with it. But all in all, I'd say absolutely not bad.
Now, for perhaps the first time in my life I find myself unable to do this. On my visa I am only allowed to work in the arts. This means that I cannot get a civilian job to help either pay the bills or pass the time. This is a big problem for me. What it does mean is that I can really focus on theatre, which is part of the reason I moved to London in the first place. I found myself working a full time job that made me really unhappy, and I wasn't doing the work I wanted to. So now I am in a situation where I cannot take another job. It is a weird experience. I am kind of losing my mind a little bit!!!!!
Like any period of unemployment it has its ups and its downs. On the up side it does mean that I can focus completely on what I want to be doing. I get up and I often have the house to myself, so I can sing and be as loud as I need without disturbing anyone or feeling self conscious. I joined another audition listing site, one that I am in control of so I can submit myself for auditions. Up until now I have left that mostly in the hands of my agent. And as someone who is used to taking care of everything myself that has been rather difficult for me. I have a few auditions lined up for the next week, so hopefully something will come from one of those!
The downs are all the normal things you would expect. Anxiety about money, frustration at not having a job, fear that I will never get one. Nothing that is out of the ordinary. The trick is trying to avoid dwelling on all of these worries. I have learned that this is difficult to accomplish while cooped up at home with possibly the worlds worst cold. Not quite sick enough that I was bed ridden, but too sick to accomplish much. However I am now fully recovered and back up on the horse.
Even while I was sick I did manage to accomplish something, actually it was something really important. I finally got myself a voice over agent! This is something that I have been working on for about a year now. After one false start last year I have actually achieved one of my big goals for the year. Very very excited about this.
In all honesty, although it has been a very frustrating month, I am actually in a pretty good place professionally. In the year since I graduated I have managed to sign with both a theatrical and a voice agent.I have auditioned for a handful of shows, including a few West End productions. I have had one professional contract with a prestigious company. And I have managed to secure for myself (for the time being at least) a UK visa. Not half bad. I still have a lot of work ahead of me, and I am sure quite a lot of frustration and anxiety to go with it. But all in all, I'd say absolutely not bad.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Somewhere
Well, it has been over a week since the last performance of WSS. I have found it surprisingly hard to return to every day life in that span, and even more difficult to attempt to explain how I am feeling. Between our two weekends of performance I was both a physical and emotional wreck. I lost my voice, I was exhausted, I am not ashamed to admit that I was very close to tears for most of the week. I assumed that the week following the close of the show would be very similar. In some ways I was right and in some I was wrong. But I am getting ahead of myself. I'll start with Wednesday.
I met up with my carpool first thing in the morning, at the grocery store. Wednesday was a two show day, which meant that we would be spending our dinner break with the boys and would be bringing in food for an informal potluck. These meals were some of my favorite parts of the entire process, an hour of quality time with the entire cast. We would bring in a range of goodies - from fresh fruit and veg to a huge assortment of biscuits and chocolate. And in return we would get a lot of great reactions from the guys. I remember one guy just sort of sitting there, speechless looking at all the food spread out picnic style on the floor. He was just dumbfounded that we would go out of our way to do this for them. We also had a few guys who demanded to know why we hadn't brought certain things, or who would try and smuggle out entire trays of cookies before anyone else had a chance to sample. So, like I said, a full range of reactions. But either way these meals were always a good time. A lot of chat, a lot of joking around, everyone relaxed. Really nice.
So we buy our groceries and trek out to the prison. Two shows on Wednesday, plus a several hour drive to get there. We were all pretty knackered by the end of the day. The shows went well, and everyone was glad to be back and working again. Our digs were another story entirely. At different points during the week we had no phone signal, no Internet (these two were basically a given), no gas, no heat, no hot water, no cooking facilities.... basically we had beds. But we were really really close to the prison. It was interesting. But it definitely added to our state of mind during the final week of shows.
The first of the two shows on Wednesday was for employees of the prison. It was one of the most interesting audiences we had during the entire run. They were absolutely silent during the entire performance. Really no feedback, whatsoever. No laughs, no gasps or reactions, really just active silence. No one was really sure what this meant. Even when it is quiet you can usually tell when an audience is just being really attentive. This came across differently somehow. However when we got to the curtain call there was thunderous applause. It was if they had saved all of their noise until the very end of the show. It was kind of amazing. After bracing ourselves during the whole show for nothing, it was almost overwhelming.
I do wish that we had more of those performances. The ones for the people in the prison, both the inmates and the employees. I think it is great to invite the general public to the shows as well, don't get me wrong. I wish that everyone I know had come and seen the show. I think just being in the audience is an amazing growth experience for everyone. However I think that this is even more the case for those involved in the day to day of prison life. I think really outside of our little bunch, no one knew exactly what was going on in our rehearsal process. I know that a lot of the prison staff thought we were a nuisance, and that the security state was heightened the entire time we were there. So to finally get a chance to invite them in to see the work we had done, everything the guys had accomplished, was absolutely necessary. Now I know that we didn't win everyone over, but really if we got even a few people thinking about how the arts can help in prisons then I think we accomplished a lot.
We had a day off on Thursday, which was really nice. Several of us went into Bath and spent the day sort of mooching around. Unlike the few days at home, where all I wanted to do was go back to work, this was actually really relaxing. Maybe it was being outside of my normal surroundings, maybe it was being with the cast as opposed to sitting at home by myself. Whatever it was, it was a much needed respite to prepare for the coming weekend.
Now a lot of things happened on Friday, I've been trying to figure out how much of this I can actually share. Lets start with this. I had some bad news Friday afternoon, news from home. Nothing I could do anything about but which made me quite worried. However, upon entering the prison for the day you are basically cut off from the outside world. The officers even tried to let me check my email (to get updates from my family) at lunch but we were unable to access even the most basic pages due to the security system. So I just had to wait the day out until I could leave and call home after both of our shows. Not my best day, but everyone was really there for me. Our guards did everything they could to try and get me in touch with my family, our cast was there for me and looked out for me all day. It was really touching how much everyone had my back.
Now this second story is the delicate one. See it has to do with the balance of power in the prison. Not everyone in the prison was entirely happy about our presence there. We disrupted the schedule, and heightened the security risks, and not everyone agrees about how valuable the arts can be. So even after the wonderful reaction from the officers on Wednesday there were still some unhappy parties. And one of these decided to push some buttons. Now our guys are not perfect, they are all in prison for a reason, but most of them have come a long way from the crimes they have committed. Many are very close to release, or at least transfer to D cat (the next step down, basically an open prison). And the very fact that they are allowed to participate in the show indicates that they have earned special privileges and are on the road to rehabilitation. Now our presence, and the work that we have been doing, has been to help with this process. We have been encouraging the guys to open up, to trust us, to do things completely outside of their comfort zone. All a very delicate process. I wont go into detail but basically someone tried to completely undermine that during our last weekend.
One of our guys was told that we had been bad mouthing him at the pub after one of the shows. This is a complete fallacy. The conversation in question was actually highly complimentary of this guy, and our words were deliberately twisted to convey a negative meaning. Needless to say this guy was pretty upset. I would be too if someone told me that my cast mates were badmouthing me at the bar. I think anyone would. And he came into the show that morning prepared to basically shut us all out. However, and I think this shows some of the measure of how far these guys have come during the process, after a few minutes he came and spoke to me to clear the matter up himself. Instead of snapping to a judgement he calmly talked things over and realized that we were all still rooting for him. Now this could have gone a completely different way, and I am very glad it turned out the way it did. Deliberately undermining someones confidence and trust like that is cruel, and can be incredibly damaging. And for someone who is still finding there feet in society it can be outright crippling.
Now add to all of this dynamic a major power outage. And I mean major. The last time we stopped the show all we had to do was reset the lights, a relatively simple procedure, merely time consuming. Not so in this case. Now the prison does have generators. So what kept happening was that we switched back and forth from grid to generator power. And our systems - lights, sound, everything - had to restart every time this happened. It was a mess. I think we stopped for over 45 minutes. Half of this was spent in pitch blackness. However the guys, once again, handled things well. Aside from some impatience backstage (felt by everyone, we were all pretty hungry and ready for a break at this point), people stayed in the moment. We had to stop and start several times, each time the energy being harder and harder to build back up - because of course this would happen right before all the big dramatic stuff right at the end. The guys went out and did another Q & A with the audience, done by the light of flashlights. They kept things pretty light, and the audience all seemed willing to sit there and wait for things to right themselves. Turns out the power had gone out in the entire surrounding area, not just the prison. So it was a major deal. But in the end everything turned out ok. We finally reached the end of the show and everyone took a much needed break.
After that things went pretty smoothly. The shows went really well. One of the guys had a major blank during his big number, but it was handled with a ton of flair. The other guys in the scene covered it incredibly well, it was actually kind of amazing to watch. But other than that, no big mishaps. No more power outages, no crises. Smooth sailing. And then we had to leave.
Leaving was really hard.
Yeah, I am not sure what else to say about that. It was emotional for everyone - the professionals and the guys alike. I always find the end of a show to be emotional, and sad. But this was especially so. You know with a regular show, that you will most likely see the majority of these people fairly soon. You'll do other shows, you'll hang out, the theatre world is pretty small. We are going back as a cast to visit the guys on Friday, so we will get to see them again. But it may just be the same thing all over. Right, that's all I can articulate about that right now.
I'll update again soon, because these last weeks have had their own challenges. But enough for now.
I met up with my carpool first thing in the morning, at the grocery store. Wednesday was a two show day, which meant that we would be spending our dinner break with the boys and would be bringing in food for an informal potluck. These meals were some of my favorite parts of the entire process, an hour of quality time with the entire cast. We would bring in a range of goodies - from fresh fruit and veg to a huge assortment of biscuits and chocolate. And in return we would get a lot of great reactions from the guys. I remember one guy just sort of sitting there, speechless looking at all the food spread out picnic style on the floor. He was just dumbfounded that we would go out of our way to do this for them. We also had a few guys who demanded to know why we hadn't brought certain things, or who would try and smuggle out entire trays of cookies before anyone else had a chance to sample. So, like I said, a full range of reactions. But either way these meals were always a good time. A lot of chat, a lot of joking around, everyone relaxed. Really nice.
So we buy our groceries and trek out to the prison. Two shows on Wednesday, plus a several hour drive to get there. We were all pretty knackered by the end of the day. The shows went well, and everyone was glad to be back and working again. Our digs were another story entirely. At different points during the week we had no phone signal, no Internet (these two were basically a given), no gas, no heat, no hot water, no cooking facilities.... basically we had beds. But we were really really close to the prison. It was interesting. But it definitely added to our state of mind during the final week of shows.
The first of the two shows on Wednesday was for employees of the prison. It was one of the most interesting audiences we had during the entire run. They were absolutely silent during the entire performance. Really no feedback, whatsoever. No laughs, no gasps or reactions, really just active silence. No one was really sure what this meant. Even when it is quiet you can usually tell when an audience is just being really attentive. This came across differently somehow. However when we got to the curtain call there was thunderous applause. It was if they had saved all of their noise until the very end of the show. It was kind of amazing. After bracing ourselves during the whole show for nothing, it was almost overwhelming.
I do wish that we had more of those performances. The ones for the people in the prison, both the inmates and the employees. I think it is great to invite the general public to the shows as well, don't get me wrong. I wish that everyone I know had come and seen the show. I think just being in the audience is an amazing growth experience for everyone. However I think that this is even more the case for those involved in the day to day of prison life. I think really outside of our little bunch, no one knew exactly what was going on in our rehearsal process. I know that a lot of the prison staff thought we were a nuisance, and that the security state was heightened the entire time we were there. So to finally get a chance to invite them in to see the work we had done, everything the guys had accomplished, was absolutely necessary. Now I know that we didn't win everyone over, but really if we got even a few people thinking about how the arts can help in prisons then I think we accomplished a lot.
We had a day off on Thursday, which was really nice. Several of us went into Bath and spent the day sort of mooching around. Unlike the few days at home, where all I wanted to do was go back to work, this was actually really relaxing. Maybe it was being outside of my normal surroundings, maybe it was being with the cast as opposed to sitting at home by myself. Whatever it was, it was a much needed respite to prepare for the coming weekend.
Now a lot of things happened on Friday, I've been trying to figure out how much of this I can actually share. Lets start with this. I had some bad news Friday afternoon, news from home. Nothing I could do anything about but which made me quite worried. However, upon entering the prison for the day you are basically cut off from the outside world. The officers even tried to let me check my email (to get updates from my family) at lunch but we were unable to access even the most basic pages due to the security system. So I just had to wait the day out until I could leave and call home after both of our shows. Not my best day, but everyone was really there for me. Our guards did everything they could to try and get me in touch with my family, our cast was there for me and looked out for me all day. It was really touching how much everyone had my back.
Now this second story is the delicate one. See it has to do with the balance of power in the prison. Not everyone in the prison was entirely happy about our presence there. We disrupted the schedule, and heightened the security risks, and not everyone agrees about how valuable the arts can be. So even after the wonderful reaction from the officers on Wednesday there were still some unhappy parties. And one of these decided to push some buttons. Now our guys are not perfect, they are all in prison for a reason, but most of them have come a long way from the crimes they have committed. Many are very close to release, or at least transfer to D cat (the next step down, basically an open prison). And the very fact that they are allowed to participate in the show indicates that they have earned special privileges and are on the road to rehabilitation. Now our presence, and the work that we have been doing, has been to help with this process. We have been encouraging the guys to open up, to trust us, to do things completely outside of their comfort zone. All a very delicate process. I wont go into detail but basically someone tried to completely undermine that during our last weekend.
One of our guys was told that we had been bad mouthing him at the pub after one of the shows. This is a complete fallacy. The conversation in question was actually highly complimentary of this guy, and our words were deliberately twisted to convey a negative meaning. Needless to say this guy was pretty upset. I would be too if someone told me that my cast mates were badmouthing me at the bar. I think anyone would. And he came into the show that morning prepared to basically shut us all out. However, and I think this shows some of the measure of how far these guys have come during the process, after a few minutes he came and spoke to me to clear the matter up himself. Instead of snapping to a judgement he calmly talked things over and realized that we were all still rooting for him. Now this could have gone a completely different way, and I am very glad it turned out the way it did. Deliberately undermining someones confidence and trust like that is cruel, and can be incredibly damaging. And for someone who is still finding there feet in society it can be outright crippling.
Now add to all of this dynamic a major power outage. And I mean major. The last time we stopped the show all we had to do was reset the lights, a relatively simple procedure, merely time consuming. Not so in this case. Now the prison does have generators. So what kept happening was that we switched back and forth from grid to generator power. And our systems - lights, sound, everything - had to restart every time this happened. It was a mess. I think we stopped for over 45 minutes. Half of this was spent in pitch blackness. However the guys, once again, handled things well. Aside from some impatience backstage (felt by everyone, we were all pretty hungry and ready for a break at this point), people stayed in the moment. We had to stop and start several times, each time the energy being harder and harder to build back up - because of course this would happen right before all the big dramatic stuff right at the end. The guys went out and did another Q & A with the audience, done by the light of flashlights. They kept things pretty light, and the audience all seemed willing to sit there and wait for things to right themselves. Turns out the power had gone out in the entire surrounding area, not just the prison. So it was a major deal. But in the end everything turned out ok. We finally reached the end of the show and everyone took a much needed break.
After that things went pretty smoothly. The shows went really well. One of the guys had a major blank during his big number, but it was handled with a ton of flair. The other guys in the scene covered it incredibly well, it was actually kind of amazing to watch. But other than that, no big mishaps. No more power outages, no crises. Smooth sailing. And then we had to leave.
Leaving was really hard.
Yeah, I am not sure what else to say about that. It was emotional for everyone - the professionals and the guys alike. I always find the end of a show to be emotional, and sad. But this was especially so. You know with a regular show, that you will most likely see the majority of these people fairly soon. You'll do other shows, you'll hang out, the theatre world is pretty small. We are going back as a cast to visit the guys on Friday, so we will get to see them again. But it may just be the same thing all over. Right, that's all I can articulate about that right now.
I'll update again soon, because these last weeks have had their own challenges. But enough for now.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Gee Officer Krupke, What are We to Do?
Before I dive in to this week I just want to touch on the end of last week. Sunday night's performance was an interesting one, for a couple of reasons. First of all the guys were allowed to invite their families to this performance. I think they are allowed to invite them to a few of the other shows as well, but this was the first of them. So many of them had family members or friends in the audience. This made a lot of them rather nervous about performing. Its one thing to perform in front of a group of your peers its another entirely to invite family, and family who are complete outsiders to your situation, in to see the show. Most of them were a wreck of nerves and excitement in anticipation of the reactions their families might have.
Secondly we had some technical difficulties. Basically what happened was our lighting rigging went on the fritz. About half way through the show the director decided to stop the performance to sort this all out. She did point out that had we proceeded there would be some scenes in complete darkness, so it was rather necessary to get it fixed. However this did mean that we stopped for about half an hour. This is always unfortunate because it is very easy to lose the energy in moments like this. However our director, being amazing as ever, invites some of the guys out on stage to chat with the audience and have an informal Q & A. Now the last session like this went rather poorly, if you remember. This was a bit different. I think because it was friends and family asking the questions, and there were more guys who got involved, the tone of the whole thing was much friendlier. Genuinely curious, rather than belittling. And some of the guys really got in to it. Standing in the wings I couldn't quite hear the whole thing, but what I did catch was great. The guys talked about how the show has given them confidence, and about what was difficult about the rehearsal process. I really felt like they were allowed to have their own voice for a few minutes. So that was pretty cool. We were all pretty beat getting out of the show that much later, but I think it was actually a great experience.
It was really interesting meeting peoples families after the show. I tried to meet as many as I could, so I didn't really get a chance to chat with any of them for any length of time. This was partly on purpose. The guys get so little time with their family I didn't really want to impinge and take away any focus. But I do wish that I had taken the chance to chat with some of them more. I know it was hard for some of them, just having those few minutes after the show.
This is starting to get in to what I have been thinking about this week. The project itself has been amazing. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. However it has also been really hard, especially in these final weeks. For example after a long rehearsal or a show the cast will normally go out together and unwind a bit. In this case, HALF of the cast does this. The other half get sent back to their wing for the evening. It is hard to have that very clear divide put back between us, after spending so long building the show together as an ensemble. We have grown quite close as a cast, and it gets harder and harder to leave the guys at the end of the night. It was incredibly difficult to drive away on Sunday knowing that they were really all just waiting for us to come back for the shows on Wednesday. A lot of them do have jobs in the prison, and they keep themselves busy, but a lot of them have mentioned how this is the only thing they have to look forward to. Its hard to walk away when you know how much it means to them.
I have had guys say to me that the 6 weeks working on the show is like 6 weeks out of prison. They have mentioned that they have seen us more during this time than they get to see their families in a year. Now I know they are in prison, and they aren't supposed to have it easy, but I do think there should be more programs like this one. Looking at how much the guys have changed during the process has been amazing. Ultimately the goal is rehabilitation so these guys can reenter society and not re-offend. Seeing how much these guys are starved for human company, and situations where they are treated like equals it is hard to walk away. Looking at the guys - the lack of self worth that they had walking in to the project, and how much it has changed them, you can sort of see how they ended up here. Now, I don't know everyone's story, and frankly I don't think I need to or really have the right to ask them. But, I know they have all made mistakes in their lives (Some of them I want to smack up side the head and ask them WHAT they were thinking). But they are all people. They all deserve to be reminded of that, and to have someone tell them that they are worth something, which I think most of these guys never really got before this.
I was pretty much a wreck after heading home on Sunday evening. Ultimately it has been a good thing to have two days away, to collect my thoughts and get a good nights sleep. But I am antsy to get back. I have missed the guys, and I have missed the girls in the cast, (we have also become very close working together on this project). I know it will be even harder to leave for good after the show ends, but I have to enjoy the time we have left. I know I cannot articulate all of the things I am feeling. And I am trying to be careful of how much I can put up here. But I at least want to get down some of the things I am feeling. I'm going to stop my ramble for this evening because we have to be up and out early to get out to there for a two show day. So off to bed I go, and then off to prison I go in the morning.
I cant wait!
Secondly we had some technical difficulties. Basically what happened was our lighting rigging went on the fritz. About half way through the show the director decided to stop the performance to sort this all out. She did point out that had we proceeded there would be some scenes in complete darkness, so it was rather necessary to get it fixed. However this did mean that we stopped for about half an hour. This is always unfortunate because it is very easy to lose the energy in moments like this. However our director, being amazing as ever, invites some of the guys out on stage to chat with the audience and have an informal Q & A. Now the last session like this went rather poorly, if you remember. This was a bit different. I think because it was friends and family asking the questions, and there were more guys who got involved, the tone of the whole thing was much friendlier. Genuinely curious, rather than belittling. And some of the guys really got in to it. Standing in the wings I couldn't quite hear the whole thing, but what I did catch was great. The guys talked about how the show has given them confidence, and about what was difficult about the rehearsal process. I really felt like they were allowed to have their own voice for a few minutes. So that was pretty cool. We were all pretty beat getting out of the show that much later, but I think it was actually a great experience.
It was really interesting meeting peoples families after the show. I tried to meet as many as I could, so I didn't really get a chance to chat with any of them for any length of time. This was partly on purpose. The guys get so little time with their family I didn't really want to impinge and take away any focus. But I do wish that I had taken the chance to chat with some of them more. I know it was hard for some of them, just having those few minutes after the show.
This is starting to get in to what I have been thinking about this week. The project itself has been amazing. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. However it has also been really hard, especially in these final weeks. For example after a long rehearsal or a show the cast will normally go out together and unwind a bit. In this case, HALF of the cast does this. The other half get sent back to their wing for the evening. It is hard to have that very clear divide put back between us, after spending so long building the show together as an ensemble. We have grown quite close as a cast, and it gets harder and harder to leave the guys at the end of the night. It was incredibly difficult to drive away on Sunday knowing that they were really all just waiting for us to come back for the shows on Wednesday. A lot of them do have jobs in the prison, and they keep themselves busy, but a lot of them have mentioned how this is the only thing they have to look forward to. Its hard to walk away when you know how much it means to them.
I have had guys say to me that the 6 weeks working on the show is like 6 weeks out of prison. They have mentioned that they have seen us more during this time than they get to see their families in a year. Now I know they are in prison, and they aren't supposed to have it easy, but I do think there should be more programs like this one. Looking at how much the guys have changed during the process has been amazing. Ultimately the goal is rehabilitation so these guys can reenter society and not re-offend. Seeing how much these guys are starved for human company, and situations where they are treated like equals it is hard to walk away. Looking at the guys - the lack of self worth that they had walking in to the project, and how much it has changed them, you can sort of see how they ended up here. Now, I don't know everyone's story, and frankly I don't think I need to or really have the right to ask them. But, I know they have all made mistakes in their lives (Some of them I want to smack up side the head and ask them WHAT they were thinking). But they are all people. They all deserve to be reminded of that, and to have someone tell them that they are worth something, which I think most of these guys never really got before this.
I was pretty much a wreck after heading home on Sunday evening. Ultimately it has been a good thing to have two days away, to collect my thoughts and get a good nights sleep. But I am antsy to get back. I have missed the guys, and I have missed the girls in the cast, (we have also become very close working together on this project). I know it will be even harder to leave for good after the show ends, but I have to enjoy the time we have left. I know I cannot articulate all of the things I am feeling. And I am trying to be careful of how much I can put up here. But I at least want to get down some of the things I am feeling. I'm going to stop my ramble for this evening because we have to be up and out early to get out to there for a two show day. So off to bed I go, and then off to prison I go in the morning.
I cant wait!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Tonight, Tonight, Won't Be Just Any Night
After an absolutely epic weekend I am back at home in my own little flat. If I am being completely honest I am experiencing a bit of culture shock. The last few days have been life changing.
To pick up where I left off, Thursday. Thursday we had our first rehearsal with the band. Oh my goodness do they sound good. In my opinion there are few things that are not improved by the addition of a brass section, and this was no exception. The Bernstein music is absolutely incredible, so to add full orchestrations really takes the piece to a new level. First orchestra rehearsals always give the cast a bit of an energy boost, and I think the guys were really impressed by the band. I think they began to really feel like they were putting on a show. We worked through the music in the morning, and then ran the show in the afternoon. And it was great. The excitement in the room was palpable. However so was the anxiety.
See the next day, Friday, began our run. And to make things especially nerve wracking for the guys we not only had two shows (well technically an open dress and then our opening in the evening), but the afternoon show was the performance for all of their friends. Friday afternoon was our prisoner performance. I really think it was trial by fire for them. Most of them have never performed anything in their life, and to even take part in rehearsals was an incredibly scary thing. Now, even as a professional, I always find it much harder to perform in front of a group of my friends. There is an extra level of stress that you don't get when you don't know the audience. You always want to perform your best, and are worrying whether or not you'll live up to their high expectations for you. You are also afraid of making a complete fool of yourself. Now imagine those feelings for someone who has never done anything like this before. And set them an audience of people who have very little exposure to theatre, and really anything else. I am not sure how I would have handled myself in their position. I think a lot of them were absolutely terrified. Actually I know that they were. And this terror manifested in a lot of different ways. There were some rash comments and bruised feelings by the end of the day Thursday as we got closer to the end of our rehearsal process. However the show itself was really coming together and I think at that point we really did need an audience. At one point one of the boys turned to me and said that he thought we needed another week. I had to tell him, honestly, that every show I have every worked on felt like it needed another week right up until we opened.
Friday was an absolutely amazing amazing day. For one thing it was my birthday. I don't think I will ever forget the year I spent my birthday in prison. The girls in the cast baked me a cake to share with the guys at lunch, and they all sang to me. I dont think there are all that many people that can say that. I had a room full of prison inmates sing happy birthday to me. It really made my day, I was really touched. I got many well wishes throughout the day. Many of the guys asked me if I had any big plans to celebrate, to which I would get to respond that I was opening a show with them! Certainly one of the best birthday evenings I could have planned.
Right, back to the story. Well Friday afternoon's open dress rehearsal was certainly a unique experience. I dont think I have ever performed in front of an audience that responded like that. They were very vocal, but amazingly supportive. All of them were cheering their friend on, and they audibly responded to most of the story. But all of it was positive. And you could tangibly feel when they got sucked in to the more dramatic elements of West Side Story. The room would go quiet and you could sense the concentration. The guys were incredible! I think that most of them really got a boost performing in front of their friends. And frankly I think it really did help them that they were the first audience. After performing for the other inmates any other audience would be all right!
I am not going to lie here, I had a moment of sheer terror stepping out on to the stage for the dance at the gym. Other than the leads, the women have very little to do in the show. I am in two scenes, and spend the rest of the time doing scene changes. Most of my time and energy during the rehearsals has gone towards supporting the guys, getting to know them and help them through the process. So until that very second I had not even thought about getting nervous. However, I got out on stage and had a sudden realization of who we were performing for. And even after working with nearly 30 inmates for over a month that moment was a bit of a kick to the stomach. However as soon as the lights came up on us, and I saw the rest of the guys up there on stage with us, I realized how much we were in this together. It was kind of amazing, knowing that we were a team. It didn't break down in to them and us, but all of us together as a cast.
The shows have all gone really really well. There have been a few heart stopping seconds where someone will drop a line or something will go wrong, but all of them have been handled incredibly professionally. One moment in particular was heart breaking. This guys had been rather shy the whole process, just coming out of his shell during the last week or so. And his character is one that none of us could really feed him the line. So when he lost his place there was the most amazing moment of suspensions as all of us waited to see what would happen. You could see him realize he was lost, get flustered, and then take a deep breath and collect himself and jump right back in to the scene. I know there are pro's who couldn't do what he did in that moment. I also know that it could have just as easily gone the opposite way. I think had someone tried to jump in to help him it would have just pulled him farther into his panic at losing his line. It was a truly amazing moment.
I am going to take a break now, and collect my thoughts before I talk about the end of the weekend. There is so much emotion involved in this production I want to find the right words to share about it. I am just reminded of what many people said to me about taking on a project like this. The most frequent comment got was that it would be a life changing experience. And oh my goodness were they right about that.
To pick up where I left off, Thursday. Thursday we had our first rehearsal with the band. Oh my goodness do they sound good. In my opinion there are few things that are not improved by the addition of a brass section, and this was no exception. The Bernstein music is absolutely incredible, so to add full orchestrations really takes the piece to a new level. First orchestra rehearsals always give the cast a bit of an energy boost, and I think the guys were really impressed by the band. I think they began to really feel like they were putting on a show. We worked through the music in the morning, and then ran the show in the afternoon. And it was great. The excitement in the room was palpable. However so was the anxiety.
See the next day, Friday, began our run. And to make things especially nerve wracking for the guys we not only had two shows (well technically an open dress and then our opening in the evening), but the afternoon show was the performance for all of their friends. Friday afternoon was our prisoner performance. I really think it was trial by fire for them. Most of them have never performed anything in their life, and to even take part in rehearsals was an incredibly scary thing. Now, even as a professional, I always find it much harder to perform in front of a group of my friends. There is an extra level of stress that you don't get when you don't know the audience. You always want to perform your best, and are worrying whether or not you'll live up to their high expectations for you. You are also afraid of making a complete fool of yourself. Now imagine those feelings for someone who has never done anything like this before. And set them an audience of people who have very little exposure to theatre, and really anything else. I am not sure how I would have handled myself in their position. I think a lot of them were absolutely terrified. Actually I know that they were. And this terror manifested in a lot of different ways. There were some rash comments and bruised feelings by the end of the day Thursday as we got closer to the end of our rehearsal process. However the show itself was really coming together and I think at that point we really did need an audience. At one point one of the boys turned to me and said that he thought we needed another week. I had to tell him, honestly, that every show I have every worked on felt like it needed another week right up until we opened.
Friday was an absolutely amazing amazing day. For one thing it was my birthday. I don't think I will ever forget the year I spent my birthday in prison. The girls in the cast baked me a cake to share with the guys at lunch, and they all sang to me. I dont think there are all that many people that can say that. I had a room full of prison inmates sing happy birthday to me. It really made my day, I was really touched. I got many well wishes throughout the day. Many of the guys asked me if I had any big plans to celebrate, to which I would get to respond that I was opening a show with them! Certainly one of the best birthday evenings I could have planned.
Right, back to the story. Well Friday afternoon's open dress rehearsal was certainly a unique experience. I dont think I have ever performed in front of an audience that responded like that. They were very vocal, but amazingly supportive. All of them were cheering their friend on, and they audibly responded to most of the story. But all of it was positive. And you could tangibly feel when they got sucked in to the more dramatic elements of West Side Story. The room would go quiet and you could sense the concentration. The guys were incredible! I think that most of them really got a boost performing in front of their friends. And frankly I think it really did help them that they were the first audience. After performing for the other inmates any other audience would be all right!
I am not going to lie here, I had a moment of sheer terror stepping out on to the stage for the dance at the gym. Other than the leads, the women have very little to do in the show. I am in two scenes, and spend the rest of the time doing scene changes. Most of my time and energy during the rehearsals has gone towards supporting the guys, getting to know them and help them through the process. So until that very second I had not even thought about getting nervous. However, I got out on stage and had a sudden realization of who we were performing for. And even after working with nearly 30 inmates for over a month that moment was a bit of a kick to the stomach. However as soon as the lights came up on us, and I saw the rest of the guys up there on stage with us, I realized how much we were in this together. It was kind of amazing, knowing that we were a team. It didn't break down in to them and us, but all of us together as a cast.
The shows have all gone really really well. There have been a few heart stopping seconds where someone will drop a line or something will go wrong, but all of them have been handled incredibly professionally. One moment in particular was heart breaking. This guys had been rather shy the whole process, just coming out of his shell during the last week or so. And his character is one that none of us could really feed him the line. So when he lost his place there was the most amazing moment of suspensions as all of us waited to see what would happen. You could see him realize he was lost, get flustered, and then take a deep breath and collect himself and jump right back in to the scene. I know there are pro's who couldn't do what he did in that moment. I also know that it could have just as easily gone the opposite way. I think had someone tried to jump in to help him it would have just pulled him farther into his panic at losing his line. It was a truly amazing moment.
I am going to take a break now, and collect my thoughts before I talk about the end of the weekend. There is so much emotion involved in this production I want to find the right words to share about it. I am just reminded of what many people said to me about taking on a project like this. The most frequent comment got was that it would be a life changing experience. And oh my goodness were they right about that.
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